I think driving is too stressful for me

[paratus]

I find driving so stressful at times. When people are tailgating and cuting me up my stress levels feel like they are going through the roof. I'm considering not being on the insurance to drive the car. Its mainly my wife who needs the car anyway. I only ever use it to do the weeks shopping or if my wife wants me to drive to give her a break.

I'm trying to lower my stress levels anyway and maybe this is the next best move.

I will still buy a Fabia next as they are very good cars just maybe not a Vrs if I'm not going to drive it.

What Fabia would people recommend?

[devonutopia]

It's a shame. I'm the opposite and love driving. If I feel stressed or anxious, I'll go out for a blat which always restores my inner peace/confidence - even if I come across some ar5e who is driving like a tuuat.

If I ever had to give up driving for medical reasons, I would be so gutted.

[walkie]

Originally Posted by paratus

I find driving so stressful at times. When people are tailgating and cuting me up my stress levels feel like they are going through the roof. I'm considering not being on the insurance to drive the car. Its mainly my wife who needs the car anyway. I only ever use it to do the weeks shopping or if my wife wants me to drive to give her a break.

I'm trying to lower my stress levels anyway and maybe this is the next best move.

I will still buy a Fabia next as they are very good cars just maybe not a Vrs if I'm not going to drive it.

What Fabia would people recommend?

Its funny, I used to get really wound up driving and stressed - got me in a bit of trouble to say the least......

One day I just decided to ignore tailgaters and prats on the road and just get on with it, it wasn't easy but now I am as cool as a cucumber

[skomansteve]

Nah, just get yerself an Octavia vRS and leave 'em for dust - or better still a Hayabusa like mine - Blow someone away is my way to feel chilled and unstressed.

[ScoobyChris]

1.2-12v? Or maybe 1.4 TDI depending on mileage and budget? I don't get wound up by people on the roads - life's too short to worry about that and it's always good to have a laugh about people's poor driving (from a safe distance!).

Had a great one today. Roadworks in town restricting a road to a single lane shared by traffic in each direction with a man with a stop/go sign controlling it. Waited for about 5 minutes on a stop and then there was a break in the traffic so he gave us the go. And what happens? A woman in a Xsara Picasso blindly drives against the stop towards us I'd seen it all about to happen so hadn't moved but the chap with the stop/go stepped into the road banged his sign a couple of times and made her back up whilst waving us through

Chris

[paratus]

I feel I should come clean and admit I drove into the side barrier through looking at him and not at the road. The cars a bit dented at the side and the drivers door won't open. Its all going to get repaired on monday so its no big deal. Because my wifes an accountant she keeps funds for all occasions like this.

Its mainly the fact that he forced me into a bus lane through cutting me up. I thought no need to gun it here no one could be THAT stupid to cut me up here. It turns out they can be THAT stupid.

I manage to control my stress so well at times but other times .... not at all well. I'm glad the driver didn't pull over like I wanted him to, because its best to put things like this behind me. They act so hard in there little cars but there not so tuff when you ask them to pull over.

Stupid of me but my mate said he wants me to drive his car because 'when someone falls off a horse they need to get back on it as fast as possible'. He says I'm a very good driver. He said he feels safe when I'm driving and things like this happen all the time.

I guess I just want to make sure that I'm not a liability. If I am more than most people then it just not worth me driving. I've lost one friend through some idiot driver running him over and I don't want to be an idiot driver putting people in danger. However everyone say most of the time Im the best driver they know, I just need to control my anger.

[devonutopia]

Definitely a case of self-control needed perhaps.

Maybe an advanced driving course would do you some good, with on your request, some extra help with stress and coping with other driver aggression?

I know you may not have this option, but for tailgaters I've found a good "back off" warning is put my car in a gear at about 1500rpm and floor it..... the cloud of smoke works wonders.

[ScoobyChris]

I'd recommend signing up to IAM/RoSPA for some informal advanced driving "lessons". I've recently done the RoSPA course and found it invaluable in planning for the unexpected and also in the best ways to deal with difficult situations. It'll also help boost your confidence behind the wheel too

Chris

[gillywibble]

I find driving the opposite to stress.

[paratus]

Hmm, advanced driving corse for my wife and I sounds like very good idea. I might just do that.

Thanks for the idea. It may reduce insurance costs as well.

[ScoobyChris]

Originally Posted by devonutopia

I know you may not have this option, but for tailgaters I've found a good "back off" warning is put my car in a gear at about 1500rpm and floor it..... the cloud of smoke works wonders.

Best way to control them is to slow down and extend the distance between you and any future hazards (more time to light up your brake lights before applying braking force). It also gives them an opportunity to go passed. Harsh acceleration and braking to prove a point tends to wind them up, which won't help the situation imho

Chris

[walkie]

Take up some form of martial arts, that'l teach some disipline and self control

[paratus]

Mostly I slow down to give myself more time to think. However on this occasion I was already stressed cause I hate the drive back from my sisters. Also where she lives reminds me of when I lived next door to a pub that had lock ins 7 days a week. So I was already at the most stress I could take. Getting tailgated then cut up was the final straw.

If only I could always remain calm no matter what happened even if I was constantly cut up tailgated and generally harased. Maybe the advanced driving lessons will help. There not cheap though.

[gillywibble]

Sounds like you need help generally. Don't be afraid to seek it.

[ScoobyChris]

Originally Posted by paratus

Maybe the advanced driving lessons will help. There not cheap though.

My local RoSPA group charge £25 to be an associate for the first year and then £12 for every year thereafter once you pass and become a full member. The £25 includes attending the RoADAR course, as many observed drives as it takes to get to test standard (typically 6), and a demo drive with a Gold standard driver. There's no obligation to continue paying after you've done the course but obviously your membership will lapse (the skills will be with you for life though ). Apparently my local RoSPA group is one of the expensive ones too!

Chris

[GlacierNR]

I am a pretty good driver and normally calm, but I do understand some of what you have said.

Where I drive everyone cuts everybody else off, or tailgates, or does the sideswipe "get back at you for whoknowswhat" thing. Getting cut off stinks because you get stuck for minutes waiting to geta chance to get back in line. People are always looking to take advantage of the next guy. Dog eat dog.

I used to get extremely mad during/after every time I took the car out. Then I realized that its better to observe, but not ingest what is happening in my rearview mirror or even what is beside me. That helped a lot. Also, insurance covers you for almost anything that happens behind and sometimes even beside you. Also, I realised that I was letting others control my attitude instead of maybe turning the other cheek or having patience for someone else who might have had a rotton day/life. Finally, and I don't know if this will help, I realised that when it comes to traffic and people I am not the final authority. I can only control myself - if I've lost that, then I'm basically everyone else's toy.

There are many good suggestions, but fixing the problem is better than covering it with a pill.

NR

[heresmo]

I'm inclined to think that everyone has days when they are just "not in the mood" for silly or aggressive drivers and tend to notice them much more, which clearly suggests that one is not calm even at the beginning of the journey.

Are you limiting driving to essential journeys on difficult routes, thereby having few (or perhaps no) "nice" journeys to balance them?

Perhaps take up Devonutopia's suggestion also of going out on easy quiet scenic roads more often just for pleasure so that there are as many occasions when you are looking forward to getting behind the wheel

Mo

[Fabia156]

usually when someone is drivin behind me like that i'll use the brakes that will teach them a lesson.. lol

[ScoobyChris]

Originally Posted by Fabia156

usually when someone is drivin behind me like that i'll use the brakes that will teach them a lesson.. lol

And if they hit you, give you whiplash and bend (possibly write off) your car. I can think of better alternatives

Chris

[Shifty]

I got whiplash 15 yrs ago, and it seemed fairly insignificant at the time, but all these years later, it's quite a problem. Wouldnt recommend whiplash.