L-Y-K

i got told the other day i was too honest by having a go at some of our friends who have decided to icolate themselfs from us because they were "too good for us" as it came across that way to me and the others.

now is it wrong to be to honest if somethings bugging you, you tell them right? so they dont do it again. but sometimes it just comes out.

there is no nice way about being honest is there ...even if you try to put it nicely i never manege to make it soft round the edges just very blunt and quick! is it wise just to shut up and smile from now on? am i the bad person? who else is honest?!

Gwilo

Depends who you wanna please - shallow people or be true to who you are?

It's better to have openness and honesty amongst friends, otherwise, what sort of a friendship is that? If other parties can't hand;e it, tough.

True life example - a friend and mentor of mine, a man i held as a role model and confidante moved out from his wife after discovering he had a son from a previous relationship.
His wife then filed for divorce.
when i questioned why, he said it was because she didn't like this lad suddnely being on the scene and him going up to see his son at weekends.
I thought it a tad harsh.
Turns out the sonofabitch lied to me. He was going up there to get his leg over with the mother of his son, though he'd not seen her in over 16 years.
Needless to say, I can't begin to trust him/talk to him anymore.
OK, i was a bit naieve, but still - Lying barstweward.

Be honest with people. Even though it may cause offense, they can't say they don't respect you for it. It takes strength of character to know your mind and speak it.

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L-Y-K

hmm just got to be careful to tone the honesty down a bit other people get offended to easaly then have a go!

Mil

I kind of have that kind of problem...thing is, when I talk, I talk loud. Some people think I shout, but it ain't like that. I think it's more of a Cypriot thing. So when I don't like something and I confront the people about it, they think I'm shouting at them, when I'm not, I'm only trying to put a point across.

I don't think it's a matter of being all honest, I think it's more of knowing to whom and when you put your opinion across, just so you know you won't insult the other party involved.

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Milton Kyvernitis
Private Government

ScoobyChris

There's a fine line between honesty and tact The phrase "does my bum look big in this" should never be answered honestly as either answer will offend

Chris

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Holding up the traffic in a little Italian..........

spinndrift

You're a wise man Chris.

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Rev. Andy
The Rallying Reverend
www.miniroadrunnerrallying.co.uk
Engine data aquisition is fun

ScoobyChris

Just come back off a negotiations and influencing course which used this example Look into my eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, etc, etc

Chris

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Holding up the traffic in a little Italian..........

mcbunny

i seem to lack tact too lol ah well

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First step to recovery is admitting you have a problem

Hi, my name is Mike and I own a Skoda and to top it all off it’s a diesel.

devonutopia

There is a time & a place for honesty - not sure what time or where. Probably when I'm asleep. Usually I find engaging brain before opening gob is good to come up with some tact, but occasionally the full truth, nothing but the truth, comes out when I'm not thinking too hard, sometimes detrimentally.... (like the odd confession on here )

Amongst friends, honesty is good, but sometimes it pays to think before you speak. Blatant lying / dishonesty isn't the way to go, but a good medium is often needed, IMO.

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Jason - Only a Skoda.
Custom Fabia Bonnet Lifter Kits - £45! Click Me.
Cheesy bonnet lifter video to "raise me up" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnGECEi5Oc

See the mongrel's 260bhp Dyno Video!

heresmo

As a naturally blunt Northerner, I learned very quickly that it isn't the way down South. I hated the disingenuousness (smiling whilst lying through your teeth) then, and I still do now - I have not changed to conform.

I try to follow the rule "Say something nice, or keep quiet", and never lie. So, e.g. the new decor might be pants, but can always be impressed by the fact that they designed it themselves, or their competence in dealing with contractors etc.

As said, if talking to mates, anything less than honesty is an insult to your mates IMO. Though whether you choose to offer an unsolicited opinion is a matter of judgement in the circumstances.

FWIW For myself, I try to practice what I preach, but after 20 years of practise, I'm still not very good at it

Mo

PS I think I've just said what Devonutopia said. Posts having arrived together.

JRHartley

I think the correct answer is either

"No dear, it's the hideous floral pattern that'll make people gag"

or

"No dear, it's not the dress, it's the subcutaneous layers of fat that make it look big"

or if your really being honest..

"It's a DRESS dear, not a Klingon Cloaking device.!"


.happy to help





IMH O Honesty is only accepted when its 'Good news' better off keeping quiet unless its a major point/issue you need to address

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I'm a celebrity...... Get me out of here !!!

Shifty

I tell it like it is too. As a result I have only a few friends, but the ones I have are priceless.

Be honest.

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SteVRs

I think you acted appropriately. It may not always be a good idea to tell the missus it's actually her fat that makes her look fat, but if something is genuinely bothering you it will not change until you raise the issue.

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Engined bike.
Engined car.
Neither a Skoda - been there, done that

walkie

I speak my mind, coulnd't care less what anyone else thinks

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Having a little break, concentrate on the more important things in life, swmbo and my training.

See you soon folks, take care - James

peterc10

Simple rule. Before opening mouth ask yourself 3 questions.

Is it true
Is it kind
Is it necessary

If the answer to any two is yes then go ahead.

ScoobyChris

Ever considered standing for parliament - you'd make a refreshing change

Chris

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Holding up the traffic in a little Italian..........

walkie

I might just do that, just need to learn to spell 'couldn't' correctly

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Having a little break, concentrate on the more important things in life, swmbo and my training.

See you soon folks, take care - James

Tom_vRS

My favourite answer is "Let me stand back so I can get it all in!"

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97/R BMW 328i in Boston Green.