bobz

Good evening chaps and chapess's.

The problem with me has always been that get stressed out by the littlest of things. NOW though, I have found a speicial someone to stress over instead.

The problem is, they've just moved away and are getting a little stressed out by the new job/flat/city sort of thing and i just dont know were I come in this equasion.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not being selfish. I'm keeping the words of encouragement up with regular texts and phone calls, but I just feel like i'm being pushed away.

I have no doupt that it'll all sort it's self out, even if that meens me being dumped and spending my life alone (it's taken me 27yrs to find ANYONE that I can really talk to) then so be it, life goes on in one way or another.

But because of my constant worry about was is/will or wont happen, i'm having a bit of trouble sleeping. During the day i'm fine, i can find something to do.
But at night, I just find myself laying here getting more and more wound up over something that is most likey just in my head!

So how can I de-stress a bit?
(BTW don't sergest masterbation, that just makes feel worse right now)


And yeah, I know I can't spell

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richie

Go and see the doctor mate. Nip it in the bud now or you could end up on the happy tablets and on Planet Wibble like me!!!

Talk to your missus, tell her how you feel. It may be that she is feeling the same way. What harm can it do????????

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Stuart_J

Go for a run or a bike ride in the evening, just give the body a burn, it helps shift all those nasty chemicals you have built up during the day, also makes you fitter

Agreed, talk to her, it wont change the answer but at least you will know it, oh & preferably face to face, failing that on the phone, texting dosent work, too many pauses

DONT resort to a drink to try & get to sleep

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kit

yep a nice stroll before bed works wonders......when in there try looking up at the ceiling and count imaginary things up there, best to do this half sat up and just look up without moving your head, just your eyes. Try and keep it going for a good few minutes then lay down in normal sleep posture, by now the muscles in your eyes will be well worn out and you should have problems trying to keep your eyes open. If that doesnt work get into your normal sleep posture and close your eyes and imagine your on a deserted beach, feet in the water and just imagine the waves coming in and out....repeat this in your head.....next thing morning time....ps stay away from the old night nurse trick!.....great if you let it run its course and wake when your ready but crap if you have to get up early doors as you will feel like youve been hit with a hammer!!!

K

Tom_vRS

Walking is great.

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ap0gee

I find reading helps when I can't sleep. Don't do strenuous exercise too soon before bed - you need to give yourself time to recover (although I imagine a walk's OK!) Best thing's to gym / jog / cycle before dinner, have a bath or shower after, and then go to bed with said book...

On a slightly different note, would your other half appreciate ONE call a day, in the evening? My ex and I never lived together, but we'd talk for a little while each night before bed, which I think was good for both of our wellbeings. We might send a text in the morning: "Have a good day" kinda thing, but it sounds like communicating too much might not be helping the situation...

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heresmo

Hmm... I reckon the best way to deal with stress is to either remove or reduce the cause of it - obvious, I know. It seems that the biggest stress you have is from not knowing. Perhaps that can be changed by communication but I wouldn't know.

What can be changed is that you could determine two positive outcomes. One would be being together, the other would be moving on, as you say, although that should have a plan of it's own since you won't want to be moping. Once you have a Plan B, you might feel a little happier that you'll be able to cope either way. Not sure if you've got that far yet? It could start with vague ideas and then start to take more detailed shape as thought necessary, depending on how things progress. It also helps to stop one's brain from going around in circles.

Best
Mo

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smstext

i bought a relaxation cd, brilliant to get to sleep to.

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Nud748

wifey bought me a cd with bird song on , sounds a bit girly but it chills me out, reminds me of the spring on a dark winter nite, what ever happens sure you will get sorted

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pixi

Forgive me for judging but from what you write you seem to be a natural worrier. In this instance communication is the key. Find out where the heck you stand. It may be scary but it will be there when you wake up tomorrow and the day after etc etc.

good luck.

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heresmo

Not sure myself, since although it would be better to know where one stands, if trying to achieve that hints of an urgency whereas the other party might not even know themselves, then that could pre-empt a decision that hasn't really been reached yet. At the moment, the OP is waking up to seeing how things will go and any decision will come from both of them over time.

Not at you Pixi and I know nothing, but the question was how to sleep more easily, not whether he should take the bull by the horns.

In that sense, the idea of sleeping easy since never do today what you can put off until tomorrow springs to mind, or more particularly, "Oh, I'll worry about that tomorrow". These are of course just my thoughts.

Mo

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pixi

I am coming from the angle of looking at the cause.

Anyways, I vowed never to answer another mental health type question on here again so I'm out of this one now!!

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gadgetman

Walking is good.

Docs and therapists recommend it as a relaxation tool.

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Why not join the Briskoda Last.fm group?

heresmo

Yes, Pixi, but also promoting what you see as a resolution, unless I'm reading your post wrongly. I think the OP might be a little offended as being considered as a "mental health type question", but that's not for me to say. However, if you've been put off by my response, then I'd wonder why? You know I know nothing and am only offering an opinion. Surely that is all you were doing? I'm quite happy when people argue with mine.

On topic, it might ease bobz' mind watching us fight Dunno about that, but, bobz, if you read this, watch out for the next thrilling instalment Seriously though, if it's taken your mind off things, then perhaps it's no bad thing

Regards
Mo

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bobz

He he, Yeah. Stop bickering you 2

I'm fine now, I've taken everyones advise, and the Dog is now more knackered than I was!

Pixi is right about me, I am (and always will be) a natural worrier, it's part of who I am. I guess anything that keeps you 'on edge' for a long while can well be seen as a mental health issue.

As they say though, it's good to talk

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vRSLen

Just stop eating them bloody sausages, what the hell have you got in them

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heresmo

Good ho bobz Pixi and I only spar, never fight, so Pixi could have a Cumberland sausage and I could have a Lincolnshire one (thnking light sabres here). Of course, if a person turned up with a chorizo, there could be a right old barbeque - well as long as someone else turned up with a French stick and another with anItalian ciabatta, then there could be a fencing match whilst the sausages were cooking

Please note that we both prefer to wash our food down with champagne. Oh, OK a nice cup of cocoa as have to get up bright and fresh in morning.

Best
Mo

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ag.morley

I found that a bottle of Jack Danials gave me a good night's sleep....Paracetamols in the morning also helped..........

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wac

I know exactly how you feel - I'm an incredibly stressed and anxious person all of the time. If you tend to obsess over one thing which varies from time to time, you may have generalised anxiety disorder or something similar. My point being, there is always help available to you on the NHS (and I don't mean pills) to help you relax and simply look at things differently. I would recommend seeing your doctor about some cognitive behavioural therapy; it's very good. The most important thing to remember is that you won't always feel like this, and you WILL feel better soon. It's just temporary!

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charles

I find a couple of swigs from a bottle of Night Nurse does the trick for not slleping.. This is a wonderful sedative which I find give a really good deep sleep and works esp well if taken after alchohol!! seriously it's good for insomnia problems...

smstext

bobz, get yourself some lavender drops and some relaxation cd's, i found them to work wonders not just on me on holiday but works on kids too!!

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