Gwilo

If there are any single parents or people with children from previous marriages etc, I'd be grateful for potential explainations to the case-study below. I spent a long time last night trying to figure it out, but came up blank, even after discussion with people connected to it. Looks like my old law text books are a bit out of date

Person A and Person B are a couple. After a while, Person A ends the relationship.
Person A and Person B don't talk much after this, but remain on good terms.
Sometime later, Person B is talking with Person C, who tells them Person A is doing well, and has a young daughter, Toddler X. Toddler X has never been mentioned in any conversation between Persons A and B.
Persons B and C talk more and it is suggested srtongly that, given the age of Toddler X, either Person A had been cheating on Person B, or Person B is the biological father. Upon being asked about Toddler X's origins, Person A simply says "I never cheated on Person B, so it's a very VERY short list, isn't it?"

Why would Person A choose not to tell Person B about this? Why choose to go down the single parent route, hiding Toddler X's existence from Person B, assuming Person B is not violent or unsuitable to care and be involved in Toddler X's development? And what would you advise Person B to do next? Paternity test - but doesn't that require parental consent. Then there is the thorny issue of securing access rights - what's the situation/status there? Or just leave well enough alone?

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TaviaRS

IIRC if parent B is on the birth certificate, they have rights. If not they would have to prove paternity which, as you say, would usually require consent from Parent A

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Gwilo

AFAIK, in order to get a copy of said birth certificate though, Person B would require:
Full names and surname at birth
Date of birth
Place of birth i.e. name of hospital or address if born at home.
Parent's full names
Child's mother's maiden surname

Given that Person A has kept Person B out of the loop so far, it seems unlikely that they'd give such information voluntarily. Unless you can walk into a registrar office, present your I.D and then they won't let you see the birth certificate if your name doesn't match the one on there.

Makes my head hurt just thinking about it.

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Glider

If person B were on the birth certificate the kind people from the CSA would now be screwing him for around £300 a month.

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Gwilo

as i read the legislation, the CSA only get involved if the parent, or person with care, makes an application for Child Maintainance. AFAIK, Person A has not done so.

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JMK2

That MAY be the answer, despite assurances otherwise.

If not is it really worth making said child unhappy. If person B is the father, the truth WILL come out in the end. At this stage, I would suggest Person A and Person B remain on good terms so when the truth hits Person B is ready to take on the child. If this is when the child becomes Adult A then Person B can make Adult A aware of this.

The other way would be to get a solicitor on side - but this will cost ££££££££££££££

Gawd why am I talking in riddles

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Gwilo

Like the usual disclaimer *Names have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent"

I just can't get my head round why someone would hide/choose not to tell a person they have a child, regardless of the situation.

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Gwilo

Anyone in the north west region know or recommend a good solicitor practicing family law? i don't know any and with yellow pages it's a lottery.
kinda hoping that lawyers are like anything else - if it comes with a trusted recommendation....

TIA for any info

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pixi

Person A obviously has their reasons to keep person B in the dark of toddler X's existance. These can only be discovered if person A decides to tell person B what they are.

If person B is desparate to find out if toddler X is their's it would be easier on all if this was done in an open uncomplicated fashion. If person A does not respond to this then person B should be prepared to take the legal route bearing in mind the implications for all.

My head hurts

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Gwilo

not as much as my head, i can assure you.......mind boggling to contemplate.

role of the father in child development? as stated though, toddler x's welfare should be top consideration.
just trying to play devil's advocate.

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